How could I resist him? Why did I shove him away? Those thoughts circulated through my head as I sped away from school, fighting back tears.
It didn't take long before I reached my secret spot, a little meadow and creek in the middle of the local forest. I relaxed the moment my foot touched the soft grass, and I leisurely strolled to the creek, immediately sticking my toes into the water before settling down to do some serious thinking.
What was the feeling I got when I was around Ashley? No one had ever made me feel this way before. The way he smiled, the way he spoke, the way he touched me... "...You can feel it, can't you... My heart. It's never beat this way before," Ashley murmured, pressing his body up against mine and kissing me. It was true- even through all the wonder I was experiencing at having Ashley's lips against mine, I could feel his heart beating like an unsteady bass drum, perfectly in sync with my own...
I shivered at the memory, replaying it over and over in my mind, yearning to taste him once again. But then... I placed my hands on his hips, and shoved him away, feeling a little piece of me break as I did. The emotions I felt, they scared me... because I was worried at how Ashley might just be... the one.
I had never been a heavy sleeper. So as I lay awake at 3 AM, I had plenty of time to think about Ashley... and take a walk in the park. I pulled on my black Converse over my Batman pajama pants and socks. Quietly, I snuck out the front door, closing it softly behind me as I strolled to the large, dimly-lit park.
Sitting down on one of he squeaky swings, I placed my head in my hands and started to cry again, softly. I felt pathetic. I had cried more hours in one day over a single guy than I had in probably my entire life. I knew that the only cure would be to see him again, to feel him touch me and to hear him say my name with as much passion as I held for him.